so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
