Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
