You're completely useless in the revolution.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
