even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
