Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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