problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
