guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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