Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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