theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
