I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
