Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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