i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
