ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
