apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
