im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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