she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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