I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
