Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
