My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
