I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
