I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just pee around me
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
