Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
