That's intense
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
