Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
