East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
