i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
