summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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