drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
