He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
