what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
