she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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