I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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