I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Randomize
