I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You ate ashes out of my bong
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
