Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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