I feel great
I just peed on a car
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
