Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
