do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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