I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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