hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
