the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Randomize
