What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
