i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
