Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
People in love make me want to vomit
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
