I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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