the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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