people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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