hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
