The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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