I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he shaved USA in his pubs
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
