Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
