I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
