i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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